New Year, New People, New Road

Happy 2nd week of 2013! How was your first week? Any thing amazing happen, and clarifications? Any resolutions or new changes ignited to spark your growth this year? I’ve had some aaah–haaa moments myself. I know what I want this year, and I know what I don’t want. I’m using the next 51 weeks to journey forward courageously with what I enjoy, my beliefs, and trusting that by seeking things that bring my joy, everything will work out.

The biggest challenge for me is always letting myself say bye bye to people who have helped me in my life. I really value relationships and my friendships, and I do my best to keep those I appreciate around in my life and in touch. I even mail random hello cards to those farther away, and of course an annual holiday card. I’m silly like that. The past few years, since I’ve began my yogic journey into my self, I’ve had to say good bye to some fine friends. It was not intentional, and in fact I spend a long time trying to make something work that was not there. When my best friend stopped talking to me two years ago I had a melt down of grief and confusion. I did not understand what I did or why or why she would want to dissolve our five years of friendship, with all our similarities and good times. Then I learned a key lesson. You have to let people be, you have to let them go. Taking that relationship out of the equation of my life simplified so much for me. I was no longer dragged down by what was going on in her life and I learned to refocus more on what matters – me. In 2012, I became more distant with more people, especially those friendships that I realized were actually very superficial. No longer did I yearn to have friends to go out with, to drink, and to prance around the bars in hope of meeting men. That’s not me, that’s not fun. Last year I realized what I seek is meaningful relationships, people who want to talk and learn more about me, who want to hear about the things I’ve been exploring, and who want to contribute to my own happiness, and be there for me, even if the things I do now are a bit different than how they live.

Starting this new year I’m so called to call up those past friends, those people from college that use to know me, and those friends I use to hangout locally nearly every weekend. I want to call one of my former best friends who lives near me who I use to be so close with and ask if she recieved my card or even had a good holiday. I want to attempt to rekindle those old friendships and memories of how they we

re. I think a part of me hopes they at least care. Reflecting now, I no longer want to try to keep someone in my life that does not want to be there. I have many fabulous and inspiring people in my life. I may not talk to them daily, or even see them all time, as many dont live close by. But I make effort to let them know I love them and that they are special to me. The best I can do is be me. To share, to tell, and to acknowledge others for their gifts. If people stop asking, stop calling, stop caring, I have to let that be. I no longer wish to force relationships that are not right. I can’t manipulate someone to want to be around me or in my life. I’ve tried to hold on for so long to too many fine memories, moments, and people. This year I’m working on enjoying the journey of life, and being okay with navigating around different turns, and being okay when people come in, and when they must go off.

Mantra: I am okay with where_____ [other people] are in their world, I appreciate all ____[they] have done for me, what I have learned, and what I now know about myself. I wish ______ [person] the best wishes to send them off on their way and wish them so much happiness. I know if our paths are meant to be, we will cross again soon, and if not I will always thank them for the memories. I trust if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I am okay with being me.

And when you finally reach a point where you are okay that relationship, partner, best friend, teacher, coworker, person, fell apart. That’s when you’re able to gain so much more clarity. It’s not you that’s separating, it’s not them either, you are both just turning different corners, along a different road, maybe repaving and onto other things. And so that is what life is all about I’ve come to realize. Walking your path, enjoying the moments and people as they come, and welcoming the shifts as they happen. The past two years, I’ve been in huge change mode. Lots of circumstances shifts, and with that came changes to my friendships and people in my life. I’m happy though. Happier than I’ve ever been. The greatest lesson in loosing those people that were once my besties, all for different reasons, has been learning better what I really care about and what I really want. When you know what you want, you naturally let those things you don’t want drift away and no longer wish focus on those things. Maybe people will change and do as you would like, maybe they will continue to walk their path. I’ve learned that the people I hangout with are usually reflections of me. And when I dont have fun with certain people anymore, or I get agitated with superficial conversations, chats about reality TV and other areas I have no interest in, I know to stop engaging in those areas. And so 2013, a few friends have drifted off my radar. I still think about them all the time and hope that one day they will align back into my life. I gave them their wishes, I send cards of gratitude, and I’ve made many phone calls at an attempt to connect. If it’s not there, it’s not there. “Sometimes it’s necessary to hangup.” And so this lovely second week of the new year, I move on. I no longer need closure in dating, relationships, friendships, or need to say formal good bye from those girlfriends I have not heard from or men I dont know what happened with. I hope they find their happiness and follow it, because I’m following mine, and that is the best I can do in this moment. It feels good to easily let go, to stop wondering, and to instead focus on what is, and the only thing I’m able to really shift, and that is me…. and in doing so I no longer feel lost or out of place. I feel me, I am me, I am becoming more of me. The journey is long, the experience is vital, and the path I choose will always hold the memories of the past amazing friendships and people and their relationship to me today.

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