I’m helping to coach a 200 hour Yoga Certification Teacher Training group. Today I had everyone go around and share their zodiac sign and what their goal/intention is for the new month of August. Of course, I was asked to start first. Thinking on my toes, I took a breathe and said the first thing to come to mind. I said — I’m an Aquarius! This month I choose to focus more on helping me, rather than on helping others — I heard it. I felt it. I think I even laughed and smiled after it. Yes. Aaaaahhhaaa. That is what I need. It seemed fit. Then we carried on around the room as everyone else shared their own.
Thinking about it now, it is interesting that is what came up. It is so right on. But glancing at it now, it seems so selfish and odd. I wonder what others though. It felt good for me. This summer I’ve spent reevaluating, relocating, and readjusting. I’ve reflected on what I want, where I am, and I’ve spent a lot of time running around searching for answers beyond my means. I’ve liberated myself from the past by reclaiming my rights to my future and life. This summer has flown by and I cannot even believe it is August, and of course, almost the end of yet another fast season cycle. Geez. I do not even know what happened to July. Seriously. It’s like life swept me up and I kept moving and flowing and riding out the high summer energy. Lots of things have shifted for me since Spring, during this summer, and especially the last few weeks. When Mercury was retrograde, I spent a lot of time writing and journaling. This is new to me. But only new to me recently, when I was a kid I remember writing all sorts of things down. Funny how things change and come back. I’ve pondered things that have happened, written my future fairy tale, I’ve asked questions, and I’ve explored truths. I feel like it worked. I’ve cleared my mind, started to learn to feel my emotions, and have began to heal myself…. but without seeking elsewhere, waiting, or desperately searching for answers.
I’ve come to learn and witness that everything is cyclical. It’s usually a matter of being aware. This past July month has grounded me back in myself. August is a new season and a new time to start over. There is also a new moon this week, the second one in a row in the sign of Aquarius. Maybe the cosmos and universe, are just on my side 🙂 There has been a profound shift. At least I feel it. This new month I have checked back in. I’ve stoped focusing on the things and people drawing me back, and met reality face on. No more illusions, just truth. I’ve dictated what I want. Who I am. Where I want to go. While i don’t know every details, I’m okay if and when things will change. I’m ready to journey forward…
It’s funny because today I had no expectations. I showed up to this training, and the other gal helping with it asked me to come up with an ice breaker/question. That was what came out; filter free. Perhaps the truth of it all is that I knew deep down the question I needed to ask, and I had the answer all along. It was just a matter of actually hearing it. I am an Aquarius. I’m dam proud of it. I do believe I resemble a pretty good spitting image of most Aquarius ~ Free, wandering spirits, unique, independent, original, nurturing, and random. What I’ve realized today is that I am a healer. I’m a giver. I love to help. I want to make the world better. I enjoy serving. But, with my own true self and a=Aquarius nature, sometimes I over do. I need to stop trying to help others. Quit fixing things. Stop worrying. And stop helping others so they can feel better. The reality is now, this month, I need to focus on me. Stop being that healer and nurturing Aquarius that wants to help everyone, and check back in with me. To ask the question, and remember, what I truly want. What will let me feel better? I love to help, and I will continue to help and serve. I can’t exhaust myself giving though. I need to give to me first. Please myself. And especially, have time for me and all that I love and all that I want time for. I need to calm down and breathe. To remember I matter first beyond everything else. To remember I am allowed to say No, and Yes only to things that make me feel good and at ease. To stop sacrificing my time, my effort, myself, and to find that sweet balance between. Yes, that is my lesson. Yes, that is this month. To focus more on me, my wishes, my life, my own happiness. Because at the end of the day, that is all that ever matters….