I took a special Yoga class last week with on of my best mentors & most inspiring people ever (thanks Chelsea!) and she spoke about being non-reactive. She shared a story and talked about how important it is to detach from other peoples crazy emotional outbreaks in order to remain more calm when any given situation occurs. That theme stuck with me throughout her classes and unique transitions, and as I did my best to keep my breath moving even with the challenges and holds. It continued throughout my day and to my surprise I was well aware at how reactive I get. At this point in my life I consider myself a pretty peaceful person. I have Yoga to thank and life experience which has taught to me to relax, slow down, and accept the beauty of living in the present moment. It’s amazing how much energy I unconsciously give up throughout my day. For example, when I was driving home I got put in some traffic at about 230pm in the afternoon. I immediately reacted (to myself in the car) and got annoyed, etc. My teachers voice popped into my head and I had to remember to embrace the moment because I can’t change the traffic. Instead of reacting and getting myself into an angry, frustrated, WTF is wrong with San Diego type of mood, I needed to settle. I put on some good music and began to embrace the moment of slowness, recognizing a little bit of traffic was not going to fully ruin the moment or the rest of my day, and that it would be totally useless to emotionally get aggravated for that short period.
The holidays are here. Yay! And Nay! For some of us, deepending on our family dynamic and more. As we are around family, friends, people we like and people we prefer to never see again, it is important to stand your ground and stay in a place of peace and acceptance. When you become reactive you give your energy away. You will notice when you are around a lot of angry people they often take your good energy from you and then your become angry as well. Or if something happens, and for example, you sister gets really upset about it and starts to cry and get emotional, that often will trigger others to adapt some form of emotion too. This may be grief shown with sympathy, maybe anger thinking your sister is stupid for crying, etc. Emotions are powerful things! You do not need to pick up any extra emotional baggage or wounds form others this time of year. Family can bring out the best and worst of us all. It’s important to lay your ground and stay present and peaceful with whatever stuff happens. That way you can enjoy the season, even with the business and family drama 😉
Tips to stay Non-Reactive at Holiday Time:
– Take deep centering breathes
When things happen, someone gets upset, etc, come back to you. Close your eyes, take some breathes, recenter yourself so other people’s shit is not causing you to react or attrain to the emotion they are experiencing. You will get triggered, relax, breathe, then speak and more forward as you need
– Get outside! Take Walks, get into Nature, get away from the House
Lots of people is lots of energy. Add in parties, stress of cooking, decorating, entertaining, etc – it is a lot to handle. Take a walk when you feel overwhelmed, get away from the group/family, soak up some sun, snow, & let nature help calm you. You will be surprised at how liberating it can be!
– Keep a positive story in your head about You
Family triggers us all in different ways. You can love your family and not be best buddies with them. I am the outcast of my family and frequently laugh at how out of place I fit into the group (especially with my green drinks). Keep yourself happy and entertained by remembering who you are, what you stand for, and the good qualities you have. You family may not agree, or support, & that’s okay. You can have other reasons to love them or at lease show presence in the season.
When things happen smile. If someone acts out of place, says something mean, tells you something that does not suit you, SMILE. Compassion is the best gift everyone can give. To me, a smile is a way to bring neutrality to any situation, give lightness, and a sense of warmth.
– Practice thinking, feeling, then speaking
We all act different around family. Often our walls are down, we treat our family different than we would treat a stranger, coworker, etc. Everyone is accountable when they are reactive. When you know that person is going to piss you off this holiday season or make you feel bad – practice pausing. Let things digest, let yourself process them, then decide if its something worth getting emotionally triggered by. Often when you pause you can notice it’s never about you, always about the other person and their shit. Thus, when that brother you don’t vibe well with says something that usually you want to lash back at, maybe this year you can be more peaceful, calm, collected, and smile and not respond or give a mere ‘thanks’ and let the words wash away…
Do the most you can to exercise, move you body, and venture away from the people so you can stay calm & collected. I listen to music often, grab my headphones, or find an empty room, lock it, and enjoy the stillness for a few moments.