When Life Seems to Fall Apart…

About 2-4 years ago I had a massive transit happen that shifted everything in my life, in myself and caused me to reevaluate every to be true. What happened? Well I found Yoga, I mean real yoga, and began the process of getting out of the pose and normal everyday routine to discover something deeper… In that same year I lost everything and virtually every piece of my life fell apart: I got laid off, I had no job and was not able to get another easy job, my car broke, my cat died, my friends fell away, and old connections that were once meaningful randomly disappeared, as if vanished by thin air. My body changed, my choices changed, my socializing hours took a halt, and new peace was found in the simplicity of stillness. Life…well it took a drastic turn and all I had going for me was a beautiful beach I could sit on with unemployment money and some San Diego sunshine to ponder what the real purpose of life really was…

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It did not matter that everything fell apart, I was actually over joyed that finally the desk and prolonged hours of sitting was no longer a mandatory wake up drive and necessity. The negative people and late night bar activities that seemed to be the only social option faded, and finally I was able to get back to something so much better that no shot or one night stand option could ever satisfy. It was liberating for me to be totally free and able to choose a new beginning and finally be out of the toxic environment where working for a paycheck and a bottle of chardonnay at the end of the day seemed like the happy prize for sitting cramped, stuck, bored, and totally unfulfilled. What I did not know is something else was calling, and that need within me to move, do, act, and be creative as the happy soul I knew myself to be was finally ready to break through and become someone more in alignment with who I knew myself to be… That old world paradigm of get up, go to work, have a job, eat, sleep and do it again was a routine I was unwilling and unable to follow anymore. So in my loss, and with everything falling away and dying, I was left alone to sit, wonder, contemplate, and ponder what I was really seeking and where I could go, what I could do to actually live a life of meaning and purpose and really wake up daily and be happy….

A lot has happened since then, even more has changed, and I’ve developed on a higher road of understanding the real meaning of letting go, and realizing yourself once more… There is journey, and to get on it, often things crumble so you can rebuild to a better state….

…When life falls apart, things change, and it seems like nothing is going in your direction, it is easy to fall into a trap, hold on, and lie and cheat whatever is trying to change. When destruction happens, the world you knew tumbles, and you are left alone, in panic, with fear, it is a sign and a blessing to help you breakthrough and find a better road that will take you somewhere happier…. Change is inevitable, and when you avoid it, shit will surmount. There is no hiding what the Universe wants you to know. Though in the misery, the tangled world that becomes scary like a horror movie will be no easy walk in the woods, when you come out from the dark shells that have bound you, you will look back and remember and see why you had to experience the rough road and tough times to get you to a better place….  You can always find a better place than where you are.

There is always a better road, and easier way to handle things, and a more peaceful place you can be. When you find the right road that really works for you, it can be scary to get on it, trust it, and leave everything behind to find it…. When the Universe beckons you to awaken, life is easier when you follow the call to awaken your heart and live with your higher soul as a brighter and happier force…… Sometimes change is inevitable, and in this new age there is no hiding from the power that wants us all to live happier, be free, and love better….

May the Summer bring you fate, show you destiny, & may the changes, and twists and turns of fate steer you in a better direction. May you evolve and become the person you KNOW yourself to be…. May you trust your journey, whatever may come on it…. Happy Summer & enjoy the change  ❤ YES YOU CAN!!!

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DEVOTION.

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DEVOTION: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause.

This word has been circulating throughout my day, in my thoughts, & in my head for the past few days. Devotion. What is devotion, & how is it different than desire? To be devoted is to be fully committed to you, yourself, and only what is true for you.

We think devotion is sticking to our routine, working out, eating right, & taking time to ‘work out’. No Devotion is a higher state of being. It goes beyond listening to mainstream society or doing as your do daily. Real devotion is a quality of the heart. It’s by your own inner guidance that you can transcend and choose what and who to be devoted to.

Desire is a dream, its an urge, a pulse, something that sounds, feels, and seems good. Devotion is your ability to stay committed – not to that dream that you think you desire, but to what you desire for yourself. See the difference? Devotion is full commitment to live your life as the person you ‘think’ you desire to be, and to authentically show up, even when the world may deem otherwise. We all have desire, & we think we know what we want, & we choose to create dreams & get set on what will happen. When you embrace Devotion – you know yourself is true. You do not need the desire, you can shed your limitation in thinking that is the way it will be, and you can instead live committed to You. Meaning, if you call yourself a yoga teacher, you live in light & love & treat others well & invoke Yogic principles. You don’t get on your mat, do some poses & breathing, then drive away flicking people off or cursing. You live your life devoted to your practice. Desire is the yoga teacher who thinks they need the ‘numbers’ the ‘physical’ challenge, or the ‘mask’ to perform in a space that is purely guided by your own desire, forgetting about the other in the room & what is best for them & others.

Devotion is the act of living from an authentic place that honors who you are. When you are able to remain completely devoted tSrimad-Bhagavatam-on-Having-Unflinching-Devotion-for-The-Supreme-Personality-of-Godheado yourself, you allow things to happen, and you yield yourself to the Universe and step forward into the unknown. Desire is the catalyst to devotion. We all have wishes, intentions, dreams, etc. Desire often catches the ego – when we stop being devoted. As you evolve you change, and with that, your desires change too.

Often we place our desire with ego attachment. For example, I’m doing this to make this amount of money, or I’m not helping you because I won’t get any money. Our ego overrides our desire. If you desire is more money, you need to be devoted to allowing more money. That may mean helping someone else achieve abundance themselves, or honoring someone else needing help. Our head overrides our heart all the time, or we let other people’s thoughts/egos tell us what to do, how to think, how to behave. People can help you, if they are living fully in truth and from a conscious place of connection. The others living from their own desire, without devotion to the whole, will tell you what you need to do to serve them. Thus, you help them achieve their desire, and disconnect from your own desire.

 

As we end this crazy year of 2014, I ask you to consider how devoted you have been to Yourself. What dreams to do wish to manifest this year? What have you achieved? And what more do you wish to accomplish before this years end?

images       Human nature gets busy, we forget, we get distracted, and we forget about what we committed for ourselves and our own well being. Desire is always there, and every day we are making choices to fill our desires. However, devotion is how desire is granted. Being devoted to your dreams, your wishes, your goals, is being able to truly root down and say ‘Yes’ to all you want to accomplish. In every moment, in every waking day, you set yourself up to achieve. That meaning, you show up from a place of love. You accept people when they tell you what they think you need to do, but you always check back in with you to see if that truly fits You.

 

If our desire is bigger than our devotion we will never achieve what our soul truly is asking us. You have desires, you manifest and create with devotion. To you, yourself, who you are, and who you wish to be. In the process, leaving fear behind, perhaps other people, and stay completely devoted to your desires.

When you are devoted you trust the process & surrender, stay aligned to what you heart desires and let your wishes fuel you forward in love & with joy. Let the journey continue, & stay devoted when you walk your unique path.

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Dancing in Life & Relationship

Life is magical, unexplainable, challenging. People feed our souls new lessons and we gain purpose by connecting to like minded and special souls that helps us transcend and rise above. We all help one another, whether we are aware of it or not. All of us are seeking something more, and we are here to help one another learn imuniversaldanceportant lessons to become whole again. Friendships, people, family, partners, are all an interconnected force that helps us heal. Not everyone sticks around forever, and different personalities walk in and out to help our soul shine brighter, if you let them and honor them and their purpose.

Have you ever met someone where you just know you are meant to be in each others lives? Or where there is a subtle feeling of comfort where you felt as if you have known them your whole life? Have you ever felt that easy flowing care and love and that inner knowing that you were meant to be. Connecting to human form is the way we all evolve. We share with each other, we learn what we like, how to treat one another, and how to care, be a friend, and merge into relation with others, but more importantly with one’s self. People are teachers, helpers, and our planet thrives off one another so each of us can grow better in their own heart.

I’ve had so many amazing people come into my life and befriend me just because. I thank those people that have accepted me for who I am, the real raw, cray, me. I’ve also recognized those angels that have come into my life to help me move forward. My challenge has been in letting others be, and go their separate ways. People flow in and out, and the classification of ‘friends forever,’ is usually not a real world virtue you should seek to hold. Truth is we all choose differently and everyone is changing. Who you are today does not parallel who you were last year, or probably last month, so why should your relationships stay the same? They don’t. We all take different paths, and keep walking on our own until we find similar people who walk the current road we are on. Sometimes that is a lonely journey and it can seem so hopeless and lost. The Universe puts people where they need to be, and if you’re open for it, you allow new people to help you in your present life reality.

The way I choose to live my life is the direction and path I choose to take. In stepping into my life, it requires letting others step out, into theirs, and that may mean loosing communication, and no longer having that same connection that once was. Sometimes you need to say goodbye so you can say hello to something even greater. I hold in my heart always everyone, and most know who they are, who has been a teacher and friend to me. Life is a process of evolution and growth. We are all here to do the best we can and enjoy the process of becoming something more. People come in, they walk out, and sometimes with reason or closure, sometimes not. I use to not understand, now I’ve found ease in recognizing it’s not always meant to be. What I know now is there is liberation in accepting where you are at today. It is okay that you may not be in contact with those of the past, and it can be emotional as you choose who truly is on your same path and what needs to part (as emotional as that can be).spirit

One of lifes mysterious challenges is learning how to be the best you can for yourself, not someone else. That requires releasing and giving yourself freedom to choose who you are now, and who is a part of that. Everyone shapes you, your life, and your future. Letting go is accepting where you are, gratitude for people who helped you along the way and finding acceptance for where you are now. Keep trusting, keep breathing, and watch as new opportunities prevail to dance in love with light. Letting go and being at peace is a lifelong mastery. Give your permission to feel, stop holding, and stop thinking you need someone to validate yourself. Feed your life with connection by remember what you truly desire and allowing yourself to express and move in your light. Thank you to those special souls that have helped me love more, reconnect, and live happier simply by letting me be me and helping myself remember what that means.

Show up and Shine: Life, Liberty, Happiness to Freedom…

Liberate: set (someone) free from a situation, especially imprisonment

Happiness: Pleasure, contentment, Joy

Freedom: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

Life can seem a bit depleting, confusing, and even tumult at times. We don’t know what is going to happen, but we know within our selves we are yearning for change. We seek out the advice of others, we find teachers that help elevate us from where we were/are, and we find liberation in that brief moment where we are able to divinely shineconnect to the power that is within us to feel relieved and fulfilled. Often I see people journey on the mat in seek of a transition. Needing an instant fix, fill me up, person, or physical workout to help them feel better in themselves. Yes, the physical yoga sparks change, though week by week I see people come right back, in the same space where they began, seeking improvement through someone/something else.  It’s interesting. So many people roll up to the yoga studio, day by day, class by class, claiming they need to make it to their mat in order to have a certain outcome. What is that about? I believe that what we need is usually what we are too fearful of really coming to terms with. Instead of seeking solstice on your mat, or with your favorite teacher, why not take some time to find it within yourself first? That’s liberation. Come to terms with who you are and be able to gracefully pronounce your magnificence to the world and society around you. Tuning into your physical body – yes, but listening deep within you and going beyond the breathe to movement to break barriers in new ways. Every teacher and every class can offer you a new vantage point and state of refinement and liberation. Yes. However, to live in liberation is to be able to create it for You. To not rely on that one person, but to enjoy what they provide, and be okay with or without it; not relying on it. Then to take the message, the workout, whatever it is, to new levels within yourself and personal life. You upshift by making conscious changes. You stop doing that same thing over and over again and you take the reins to break your own addiction of thinking you need something more to fulfill yourself. Then you Liberate. Breathe. Go deeper and do what it takes for you to show up and shine – despite the conditions, circumstances, teachers, etc. Deem yourself the star, show up for yourself. If your body is craving a practice, get on your mat and breathe, workout your disaster, and enjoy the semblance in restoring your state of being by mastering your own attitude. People can help you feel good. People can teach you wise lessons. Only you can put the pieces together to make the best of where you were at, and shift the pieces to brighten your own life and enhance your own well being.

 

In this new month, I feel tremendous liberation. A time to cleanse the old, purify and recollect your own goals lifelibertyandthepursuitofhappiness400__1309544250_5727and find self-gratification by living. It’s not a matter of showing up for other people, or getting to that one yoga class that will ‘challenge’ you, or even shift you in thinking life is amazzing. Reality happens, life happens, and it’s the actions that take place that help you shine a lot brighter by choosing what to accept and what to remove.  No one can tell you that but you. I’ll admit life is not always well and jolly. We need time to change and transform, and sometimes it takes longer than you think it should, and that is okay. This new month I invite you to wake up and shine. Quit worrying that you may not be ‘on path’ or that your dreams may not align with where you are at in this moment. Seek the solace in remembering one day they will. This month be you and shine in your fullest. Be the start, that bright light, and let the light within you show in every moment. Make change, be courageous, and let your inner light glow higher by choosing yourself and what you desire deep within. Liberation is being content in your choices, your mind, your body, your your heart. It is acting for you. It’s living and being happy in your own dance of creation and fulfillment of love. Leave the fear behind, let go of those thoughts and be the unbound warrior of change as you highlight your own radiance and live fully in that spot. It’s always about living, how you show up, what you choose to believe, and in awakening your own awareness to shift matters and be the change you wish to see for yourself. Liberate the past, let go of what you use to do or what seem ‘normal’. Be your own firework and light up your life. Celebrate your Independence. Create the stars, paint the stripes, and let your freedom flow…

There is no Struggle

There is never struggle, there are only lessons. Opportunities to make new intentions and create changes in our life so we can enjoy it fuller. I’ve felt held back and a bit restrained, and overwhelmed with life and possibilities. Breathe. The world is your teacher, the struggle is your ego unwilling to surrender to what’s happening in the now. You can choose now what you want & stop thinking about the rest….quotes-about-life-struggles-inspirational-quotes-about-life-overcoming-obstacles-struggle

I struggled for a while, trying to ‘find the way’ or ‘get the career job’ and set my life in a way that would satisfy others and deem me worthy. What I’ve learned is that there is no struggle, only choices, and opportunities to learn how to choose better and make your life joyous. I was disconnected with myself for many years, I did not know any better. Obstacles and things that happen are our teachings. It’s up to us to overcome it and with your own inner power learn from it. What if you could see people for who they are and where they are at? And recognize that people come in to help you, and to help themselves grow. Sometimes we may not understand why and maybe we get upset or feel bad. Be patient. Relax. What can you choose better next time so you can remain filled your own inner harmony – light, love, and happiness?? Stop the patterns, and asking why ‘this’ always happens. Let go. Smile. Find delight in where you are and tame your ego so you can stay focused on the present. Teach yourself about yourself. Heal your wounds. Stop suffering & enjoy living!! Find liberation in who you are.

On Happiness

Happiness-is..

What is Happiness?

hap·pi·ness

noun: happiness; plural noun: happinesses; the state of being happy.

synonyms:

pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joviality, jollity, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being, enjoyment;

This a question, I’ve pondered and constantly come back to. This new Spring season has awakened new aspects of myself and I suddenly am seeing life in a whole new perspective. I was once on quest to find my inner joy. Something deep within me was no longer satisfied going by the every day norm and doing what people ‘thought’ was best for me. i.e. – working the 9-5 job, getting promoted, designer clothes, going out to bars, binge drinking, and other somewhat ‘normal’ things other girls in their mid twenties were typically seeking. That stuff did not matter, I needed something more. I yearned to wake up feeling satisfied, to get up with excitement for my day, and wanted to make ideas happen that would help this world be a better and brighter place. After a series of unexpected events, and with what I’d like to deem a magical and crazy Spiritual Awakening, I am emerging out of what was, and allowing myself to radiant forward  – in the best ways I possible can.

Life has taught me so many lessons in the past three years, and in the entirety of my life as I look back and reflect. I believe that happiness is an inside job. It’s more than just proclaiming today I am happy, because we all know there are many circumstances that happen that cause us to feel otherwise. You can read a ton of books, follow people online, even post things on Facebook that seem uplifting. That’s wonderful, and maybe you are inspiring someone in the process. The more our planet elevates in consciousness the more I witness people posting tons and tons of stuff all over social media about how to find your inner joy or some other regurgitated quote or message. Why? I’m really not sure. True, real happiness, I believe, is about finding ways to please yourself fully and live whole in who you are. It’s not doing, it’s Living. It about waking up and looking forward to whatever you have on your schedule and being eager to share your energy to the world. It’s about doing things you love and surrounding yourself with people who let you be the best you can be. And rather than seeking people, things, jobs, money, etc, it’s about dancing on your own path to self acceptance and joy.Happiness is a choice

So many of us cultivate this attitude of limitation. We want to do this, however we can’t because of this. Or we think we need a certain person, or need to do a certain thing to be happy. We say to ourselves I love doing this and I’d love to do more of this but —-. And so our world doesn’t change. I believe Happiness is found when you are able to live in complete awareness of who you are – not what your family, friends, or society tells you to be. Is it easy? Fuck no. It takes work, it means breathing past your challenges and overcoming yourself so you can serve yourself in the best ways possible. It’s more than just saying you are happy. What is that? Do you feel happy on the inside? Can you break free from your own patterns and choose to face the real thing that is holding you back from your own complete happiness? Are you willing to get into your body and feel alive and as good you can be? Can you put down the weed, beer, or glass of wine, and instead of drinking to feel something and later your state of consciousness – can you be willing to come to terms with the struggle and take conscious motion forward to freedom? The truth is too many of us are just to scared. They are held back in the fear of what if I were willing to change my life? Scared of investing in themselves, of what change may bring, of getting out of their routine, and going beyond what is comfortable or dare I say ‘normal.’ Then habits continues, routines go on for years, the same type of people come in, the same problems, and people wonder why their life is the way it is. Ha. Ha.

Walking a path of happiness and fulfillment is a path you take on your own. It looks different to everyone. Yes, you have people who support you along the way and guide you and are in your life for a reason. But Happiness is your own inner journey. It’s not about doing what this person does, or thinking your dreams will come true by reading a book and following it or reciting it. To me, Happiness is about learning to make choices that serve you. Happiness is not an act, it’s a way of living. Do the things that please you, and find satisfaction in every moment of your day. Love the life you choose for yourself. If you don’t like it, change it, or something about it. You can spend a lot of time and money searching for the perfect partnership, the job that will fulfill you, or the thing that will finally let you feel satisfied. Where is the fun in that? Why do we settle for less than we deserve? Why not choose right now to commit to yourself. To who you are on the inside. To stop thinking you need other people to awaken your inner joy, and choose to live it for yourself. As the planet changes and more and more people are seeking ways to live life well. It’s wonderful! I hope we can all learn to do the best we can to inspire one another. Happiness is more than just a mantra, activity, or necessity. True happiness is living your life with a sense of purpose and fulfillment. To be okay when things happen, knowing it needs to be that way. To allow yourself to dig into your feelings and inner wisdom and love yourself from the inside first. It’s about trusting yourself to take measures to live better, invest in yourself, and instead of seeking something outside of yourself, to seek it within.

Life happens and it teaches you to grow in yourself. Be positive and live well. Obstacles and challenges will happen. The universe throws you curve balls. It’s okay to crhappinessy about it and be upset. Sometimes, you probably won’t be in your best state. That’s truth – that’s the work. Don’t lie to yourself – accept it. To refine your where you are and to make positive changes so you can live better; not for anyone, or to have something, or gain something. Happiness is something that is locked up within us all. Some of us express it and tap into it more than others. I believe real happiness is being able to look at your reflection and see all aspects of yourself and to honestly evaluate what aspects you may need to overcome. Who cares what society thinks, and lets let go of the ‘normal’, or the idea that your have to ‘be okay and friendly and smile’ in every minute of the day. That’s bullshit. Life happens and things can hurt – but it’s in your ability to learn why where the work takes place. Reality is, we are all never okay – admit it, and own it. I tell ya it’s a whole lot better to face your fears, your emotions, and to start to ask the question – ‘why isn’t this working for me anymore?’. Happiness is an exploration of yourself. It’s about stopping the habits and the old ways we think we need to live our life. It’s not about how many facebook posts you make, or your ‘like’s and followers, or what you choose to gossip and complain about. It’s not about showing up with a smile either. Happiness is finding joy in every second of living. You do that by getting through the battle and challenges and finding self acceptance. For me, it’s laughing when things happen that don’t make sense. It’s smiling at the stranger who just cut you off in traffic, and it’s breathing in your own sense of self to feel awakened in YOU. No one needs anything. To find happiness, you do the work, you tune into your self – your body  and heart – and YOU consciously choose to better yourself. You let your spirit guide you forward, and you trust the beat with in you to lead you forward… in whatever way that may be….cuz it’s different for us all.Real Journey

People inspire. Books inspire. Life causes you to become something more [if you are willing]; Life teaches. Happiness is an inner journey that promotes confidence within who you are. It may be lonely, confusing, and very surreal at times. It takes time, it’s not something we are born with innately – it’s a unique process. Only when you dare to get deeper, can you truly prosper. I went through a three year shift that taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. Did I plan it? No, events happened that taught me to grow fuller in myself and it took a lot of tears to overcome, and I was blessed to have teachers help me along the way. Ultimately it was my own commitment that has gotten me to where i am now. Letting go what I thought I needed or wanted, and trusting there is always more to come. I had to break free and stop doing what I did all my life, and in the process it liberated me and has helped me become fulfilled. This week I invite you to do something nice for yourself. To plan a schedule with activities that will inspire a smile on your face and to notice why it brings you fulfillment. Maybe it’s even taking an hour to be alone journey solo in what you enjoy. We all seek on the outside to feel better about ourselves. Why not harness your own happiness first then let the world be filled with it? Step into love for who you are and live your life by finding happiness in who you really are and all that you actually enjoy 😉 What is happiness to you? Can YOU OWN it and ACCEPT it and LIVE it??

 

 

Celebration of Purpose ~ On Living & Loving

And here it is, the end of May, almost the end of Spring and the end of a tremendous cycle of change and transition. Geez. What is the cosmic universe we live in and who are we and what is the purpose of it all? That I’m still asking, but each day it is becoming more clear and I triumph with how far I’ve come. This past year I’ve learned how to step into myself and find liberation fully in being me, living me, and loving me.loveself

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Three years ago I started to ask the question, ‘what is my purpose?’ I suddenly was no longer satisfied working at a desk at my so called ‘dream job’ and something in me knew there had to be something more. My values began to change, new people began coming into my life, and I found myself choosing yoga beyond other activities like bar hopping. I was young but things that were once satisfying were no longer pleasing or enjoyable. I reached a point where I needed something more, a change, people who inspired me, a job that excited me, and something that would put a smile on my face. I yearned for happiness and a life that felt fulfilling. So in the magical year of 2011, on Memorial Weekend, I called up my friend and told her to enroll me in Yoga teacher training. She did not question it, in fact a few months prior, she had planted the seed. I did not know anything about the training, only the meeting dates. What I did know was I found happiness in the yoga studio, and despite whatever ‘real world’ problems I found, I always made it back onto my mat. Hot yoga had been a vessel for me to channel my emotions, my family issues, pain, and let me get into my body in new ways. It felt good, I liked it, and I chose to be there. I needed a shift in my life. I was unhappy and felt stagnant and lost. Although I had zero intention to teach, I craved being a student again and demystify what this yoga thing really is about and wanted to know why I was put on this planet.

 

Two years ago I was asked to audition at CorePower Yoga and by June 2012 I was hired. It’s funny where the universe begins to take you when you begin to open for it. By that time I had gotten laid off of my corporate job and was still asking that deeper question, ‘why am I here’ ‘why is this happening to me?’. I did not understand. I know now we never really will know what people come into our lives or what role they may play or what outcome we all may create. 2012 was an interesting year and as I began teaching yoga I learned how to tune into my own inner truth and self. For the first time I was doing something that was fulfilling me, and most importantly I was helping others find that inner piece that yoga helps us all connect to. People told me I was good at it, and it felt good knowing Best+Quote+wallpaper+funny+propossal+201.+Best+Quote+wallpaper+funny_043e0d_4853781I was finally doing something meaningful. I am so grateful for CorePower Yoga and all the amazing people who have helped me evolve, in the space, and in life. I learned quickly that teaching yoga was more than just showing up and explaining the body or physical poses. Real yoga is about learning how to be your own teacher, and take steps to grow in your own life – on the mat and off. The mat is the tool, the journey is your life. 2012 I learned how to become my own teacher, how to teach myself to find my own inner satisfaction. I learned how to show up, and how to respect the others, and how to find compassion in realizing that this crazy universe will always guide us in a direction that really is best – everything does happen for a reason, when you are willing to see it. I stepped into my power, learned to speak up, to hold space, give to others, and do something that I enjoyed.

 

Now this May, I reflect back on 2013 and celebrate one hell of a year. I have been gifted with many special teachers and people so connected to me, that they have guided me forward in my dharma and purpose. I celebrate me and where I was, and where I am now. This past year I had a special teacher (not in the yoga room) who was a friend, change roles in my life and it taught me how to grow within myself. This person did not communicate much with me much this year, however, the intensity of this connection and what I felt with it, drove me to reflect back on myself. After all, we are all merely reflections of one another, helping us grow and learn. The new question I asked was ‘What is this feeling?’ ‘why do I feel like this?’ This past year I have transformed and dealt with many lessons and woke up. I am learning what it’s like to love yourself and how to find love within. This teacher of mine, has reflected in me my own light and has inspired me to do the inner work and love myself – who I am, by body, and my own inner being. I did not know what was going on or why things were happening, I had to start listening though and was led to spiritual growth. 2013 has been about me recognizing that there is a divine power and a deep seated mystery that we will never know – let me call that ‘the universe.’ A year ago I was so confused and just going through the motions of becoming. This person showed me love, let me feel it, and in truth, intentionit was something so magical that words cannot describe the deep connection and feelings that were invoked. I had to asked the question and do the work though, and tune inward to find liberation. I had to learn to surrender, to stop asking why and to start trusting as I overcome to find complete harmony within myself.

 

This past year I’ve taken my yoga off my mat and have asked even deeper questions. I had some personal events take place and the pain and emotions were unbearable and quite confusing, and something that no one will every in this lifetime understand. This year I’ve healed myself; I’ve cried, I’ve journaled, and I’ve invoked new spiritual practices that I once thought were pointless, silly, or useless. The universe guided me to it, and I eventually reached a point where I could not help but believe. The universe gives you help when you ask, however, sometimes things happen and there is no real answer or explanation as to why. Things happen that we don’t understand. What I’ve learned is that there is a divine magic in the universe, and that people and things come together for reason and purpose. There are synchronistic events and nothing is by chance or coincidence. The universe has a plan, and it is up to use to do the best we can in the place we are at. We are a student on the mat, in the pose, but also in life. I asked the question, of why I am here, and what is the meaning of this thing called life? I knew it was beyond sitting at a desk, getting a paycheck, and finding the perfect mate. That’s silly. It’s about learning to be a student of your own life, asking your own questions, and taking the reins for yourself so your life can have direction and most importantly – meaning.

 

These past three years have been life changing. I do my yoga, I arrive on my mat. I yoga further with Teacher Training, where I learned what yoga was, then, without intention, I became a teacher in the yoga room. The universe did some wild things, brought in many people to help me, however it was not until this past year, after the inner work had been done, that I’m finally able to be at ease with life and where I am. The work never ends, the journey continues, but I find satisfaction in recognizing where I am and what I’ve overcame. I sit back this memorial weekend and reflect.. After the wildest three years of my life, I celebrate me – who I am now. I wanted happiness, I wanted to smile, and now three years later, I’ve learned what I was seeking all along was Love. Love for me, for who I am, and this spirit within me that has been yearning to come out. Yoga is the science, lifestyle, and vessel I believe everyone can benefit from. It teaches us divine Union – how to come back into ourselves and who we really are. Yoga found me, teachers navigated me forward, and spirituality found me, but I had to do the work to find , and continue to find, Union within mlovethisyouyself.

 

I believe that people can tell you what you need to do and should accomplish, but the real magic happens when you are able to listen to yourself. To tune into what you want, and instead of talking about it and wondering, take an active stance to make a change. I have been blessed in the past three years to have many connections and profound teachers come into my life. They have helped me grow, they have taught me on the mat and beyond, and have let me become who I am today. I will always be grateful. However, my own journey only started because I knew I wanted more for myself. Today I celebrate my own accomplishments and my own journey. I asked the question three years ago, and now I’m so much more clear. It is said you need to love yourself first to find love. I believe it. I did not know what love was, but I felt there was something more for me, and I’ve learned to find it within myself. I now live my life doing things that I enjoy and love. I stopped seeking outside answers, and chose to take an inner journey and to breathe into mind, body, and heart, and learn to unlock who I really am. It took me three years to transform. I now choose love. Love for myself, for who I am, and for what I enjoy. I trust the universe as it guides me forward, and I keep a genuine smile on my face as I continue to master how to love myself, love others, and love life as I step into my purpose and radiate my own light in ways to serve myself and also others.