The Life Changing Yoga Class

Hey Hey,

So I’m a Yogi… I mean I’ve spent far too many hours in the yoga room teaching, breathing, taking classes, and learning how to bend and touch my toes. haha. Seriously. I’m sure the yoga trend is annoying to the common man, however to me it’s been life changing.

I’ve taken many classes, experienced some teachers, and tend to have the kind of personality that sticks with WHO I like. Yup. If I resonate with you, I’ll see ya regularly. I can sincerely say, there are few teacher that I really really love and resonate with fully and completely…. however, that’s another post and long subject matter.

Today I took a class that changed my life.

Now, I have had many life changing ah-ha moments, and a ton of super feel good juicy classes that I’ve walked out of inspired. I can tell you I’ve experienced exceptional yoga classes that seem to somehow ‘hit me’ right where I needed at the moment, on that day. Today was one of those days… however, today was exceptional. It wasn’t until alter, after I basked for a few hours in the bliss that I experienced, that I realized how truly changed I had become, and am now able to reflect on the profound hour I had today.

So I walk into my friends yoga class, who had apparently forgotten that I was coming, and in the locker room she greets me with a hug, huge smile, and loud hello and shock that I showed up. Right away I felt the love, and was happier to be there. I said to her, “I’m so excited to see what you have planned for class.” hahaha. In my inner mind I intuitively knew whatever she had crafted would be what I needed to hear.

… So carry on into the yoga class, she walks in, enthusiastically and greets us and immediately gets to her point, I mean the theme of the class. She talks about the inner ‘cave’, something often unspoken, unheard of, and very foreign in this western yoga culture. While she preaches with a kind flirty attitude she tells us about this ancient yoga philosophy and how the whole point of yoga is not the outside world, but actually taking it inside. In fact, the inner yoga journey is the hardest and more challenging aspect of yoga…. hence why most people don’t go there, or any where near that ‘path’.

The inner cave that yogis speak about, is actually tuning inside ourselves and learning to reconnect to the heart. The whole purpose of yoga, to me at least, is learning how to create love inside, and how to feel those blissful sensations in every moment and every waking day, so that we can all vibe in our highest potential, which is LOVE.

(Alright, enough about that, I think that’s enough to get you centered)

Ironically, the whole class was structured around backbends. A smile lifted to my face because backhanding is my favorite thing to do in yoga… and with this specific teacher, I love it because she leads my in safely and helps me ‘go deep’. hahaha cliche I know. Seriously, there is something to be said about someone who knows how to teach yoga, properly set us up, and put us in positions that actually align and help our body. (no joke). When you can bend, and be safe, and no break, the experience is unlike anything else.

So I’m hyped up, excited, ready to open my heart and dive into my inner cave. Yes, she does just that. With a symphony of appealing music, and her own heart of gold, she leads us through some warmups, and a fast body set up and flow. In her instructions she constantly reminds us, legs strong. It wasn’t until later she brought it all together and showed us why we need our legs strong…. the legs must be strong to support and open the heart. WOW. Bliss bomb realization right there, in that moment! (Okay, you really had to be there for that one, but I post it anyways).

Are you ready for the kicker? I mean the part that changed my life?

Here it is…

After moving, shaking, bending, backhanding, and doing a totally new version of my all time favorite pose, CAMEL, we eventually reach the floor. On our backs, I thought we were done…. but no not yet. I’m ready to just be, fully tap out, close my eyes, escape, and something inside me reminds me to be present. See i have a good tendency and bad habit to tune out totally and be in my own blissful world in yoga. haha. I had to keep reminding myself to stay here, and be here now.

My teacher says, “well, we are almost done. Two rounds of wheel pose now.”

I gasp inside. Another favorite pose! I love this pose because in the past, I’ve always been able to do it and no matter how depleted I feel, I go for it anyways. Except now, I wasn’t feeling it. My arms hurt, my wrist hurt, and I had to dig to find my strength. I pushed my willpower and told myself I can do this. So I did. I pushed up into wheel, held it, felt it, cracked my heart open, and came down. I already decided I’d sit the second one out. I’m a cautious person, and I have wrist injuries and can’t do chadrungas or anything crazy on my hands. Man, were they killing. Then my teacher spoke…

I don’t know exactly what she said. I can tell you she brought the class full circle. She said one more pose, wheel. Okay, we knew that. Then she added, for a timed minute. Oh shit I thought. She went on to say, that opening the heart is not about what we do on the outside, it’s about the opening on the inside, and how devoted we can be. She used the word FORTITUDE. (Forgive me, because you had to be in the moment to witness her words and experience the real dialogue). Regardless, it obviously hit me, and motivated me. I told myself, with everything about my life, and everything that has gone wrong, and all the failures I’ve endured, I still cannot give up…. Because that is the yoga path.

It’s not linear, it’s not straight, and it certainly is not a scripted easy version of reality. In fact, the moment you veer off that other path, the one most people live, you want to turn around and run. Because roadblock and hard lessons and obstacles will hit you. You will be challenged more than you knew humanely possible. When you cross that bridge, there is NO going back. I mean, once you wake up to reality, it’s like, “fuck, why did I do this?” Okay, sorry for those who have no idea what I’m saying. Seriously, the inner path of yoga is where you take your own yellow brick road ride of life and get transformed. I mean in more ways than you know. Nothing and no one can save you, and in the darkest moments all you can do is remind yourself that one day everything will be okay…. and yes pray and chant and breathe and sincerely bow down and do whatever it takes to stay alive.

I don’t mean to scare you. I’m just letting you know, that inner cave is not found easily. However, when you get a glimpse of it, its something so surreal that something deep inside calls you and almost forces you to keep going after ‘it’. After all, no treasure is found easily, everything is always developed, designed, and discovered, after many test and trials. Okay I got off subject… back to the class….

So I get my courage and I tell myself I’m going to do it. I erase the fear based thoughts, the worries, and ignore the pain in my wrists. I go for it. I push up into bridge. The timer starts. I feel strong in the legs, open in my heart. Dam it feels liberating. Then my wrist literally feel like they are doing to break and explode. PAIN. I’m in the moment, I know I can’t quit. No way. The mat practice is a total reflection of life, and what happens outside. With what I’m going through in my own life, I knew quitting would be the old me. See, I’ve learned to become a fierce warrior…. So I carry on. Then the teacher changes the song, turns up the music, and as if we are in a movie a SOULFUL ‘take me to the river’ song plays on LOUD while we backbend and open our heart to a bigger force beyond us. (Sappy I know, but in the moment, totally persuading).

Without thinking, my own instinct has me come down to my forearms, while in wheel pose. There is probably a fancy name for this pose, I don’t know it. Imagine me in wheel pose, heart open, head back with my forearms on the ground pressing my head and chest up. I struggle at first, and then I’m actually amazzzzed I am in it. How the hell  did that happen? I shocked myself. See I’m not the flexiest yogi, and my shoulders are rarely that open. (Mad props to the yoga teacher and her instructions).

So I’m in the pose, there is a timer, I’m flooded with everything happening and my only thought is I got this, push through, we are almost done.

Suddenly the teacher shows up, and her legs are pushing against my legs (this is an adjustment) and she’s talking to me (don’t remember exactly what). Then her hands press up against my back and she propels my heart up, to a new level. Holy fuck. That did something. She’s saying something, probably words of encouragement, I can’t remember. She stays there, perfectly supporting me, and actually helping me break my hear wide open, in a way I don’t believe I’ve ever done. All I can do is take it in, breath, and be there.

Before I know it, the minute is over, the teacher is gone and I’m laying on my back soaking it all in.

You want to know what liberation feels like, its THAT.

I bliss out. I mean really, I’m high as a kite, done, in some other love heartfelt universe, my body is open, and I’m on cloud 9. The class ends. I don’t want to get up, but I have to get somewhere, so I do. I can’t even process what happened. So I don’t, I come into reality and move, get dressed, and do back into my day.

Later it hits me. Holy fuck. THATS what happened.

See I have a lot of childhood wounding. Call it my own suffering, sacrifice, karma, I don’t care…. but what I can tell you is I’ve never felt really supported my whole life. I’ve never ever experienced love in a supportive environment. Believe me, my mad healing process, and my own inner yoga journey has not been easy. Then again, freedom, never is.

So this teacher, she touched me this day, and did something utterly profound. Besides her yoga class, the theme, her words, her teachings, and philosophy, she supported me. That backbend I believe will forever leave my heart wide open. See the back of the heart is symbolic of how we receive and get support. She taught me that actually. Many backbends later, I’m still always working on letting love in, and accepting love from others.

In that class she left an imprint on my heart. Sitting here writing this, I still feel it. That support, that hand, that loving touch, pushing me up, helping me, inspiring me, empowering me, and reminding me that I don’t have to do this alone…. or even suffer through it. In fact, what I needed, and what I believe we all need, is the friendly reminder that a little love can go a long way, and when we help others we can leave an everlasting impression.

It’s true life comes full circle. Often we are too busy to see it, or witness is. Today reminded me that no matter what is happening in our life, there is always a reason and a way to be inspired and reminded of how lucky we are to be alive. I know darkness, I’ve had moments in my inner cave where the depth of emotion and deep suffering hit me so hard I wondered if I would make it through. There were many tears, lonely nights, periods of isolation, and my only hope that one day I’d find people to skip merrily with and journey on this crazy yellow brick road of life.

Well towards the end of my own exploration in my inner cave, I can say that life is pretty meaningless unless we have supportive and loving people in our life.

While family, friends, coworkers, and a ton of others may not accept you, love you, or treat you well, never get discouraged. Somewhere out there there are people who can help you, support you, and even show you a better road that may actually lead you to the love that you desire.

This teacher is my guru and the shining light who touched me years ago, and today we come full circle in watching each other journey into our own cave of the heart. Today she closed my chapter, helped me end my own cycle, by leaving an imprint that will forever hold me up, lift me up, and help me know I’m not alone, and in fact always supported and loved in that place.

No matter how challenging the inner cave journey has been, I can say I’ve developed strength I never knew I had. I know now that the deepest essence of love, is not in what you do, but actually, in who you touch. 

Fuck, if we could all get that, I believe our world could instant transform.

We will slowly. Like wheelpose, we all need the proper alignment, instruction, and guidance to get us there. We all need to reminder our own remarkable abilities, believe in our faith, and surrender what we think, to actually living what we know.

This is the Yoga …. The inner path, the cave, and destroying the ignorance that has robbed us of our own greatness.  If we, individually, then collectively, could be willing to dive into our heart space, then maybe, little by little, we could we could create a loving culture that loves to love, gives to help, and supports, because we know that we are all in our cave, and wanting to feel free again.

Keep your heart open.

Keep bending until you break.

Even when you break, rise up,

and never give up on what you know is inside of you.

It is my learning to be open, we can always feel free.

Our hearts can stay open, when we choose to let love lead…

 

❤ May all beings live happy and free ❤

NAMASTE.

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Accepting Reality & People as they are.

I don’t know what’s harder… accepting reality, or pretending life is great.

 

Good grief. If only life was simple, easy, and welcoming.

Though I am an optimist, and I do believe in positive thinking, some days you just need to shout and say out loud FUCK, and comment on life, and what’s going on.

This real world can hurt, be confusing, unclear, and down right depressing.

I recently have had to let go of some very close people. It was not my conscious choice. I love people too much, and I deeply admire people for who they are. I value people who help me, touch my heart, and relationships that make me, shift me, and teach me.

I know, I love too deeply.

But the pain is unreal when you feel rejected, loose those you think are close to you, and disconnect from those that maybe once cared.

For me, it breaks me, beyond words, when I think I knew who matters, and realize and find out, I actually mean nothing to them.

I guess empathy is a gift and curse. I suppose we all can be cruel, unkind, and inauthentic with people.

Maybe this whole world is hocus pocus and some silly game we’re all pretending in. I mean, I wonder constantly if anyone is real anymore, and if we took away jobs, titles, and money, who would be left to care, and how would people treat people?

 

 

Feeling Unloved.

Everyday I wonder if the pain will ever go away. It’s gotten better, but the deep scar that was buried long ago still creates a burning flame in my belly. That emptiness continues to come around and jar at me and force me into my own manic depression at times.

Abandonment. Unloved. Feeling Alone.IMG_0814

Shit those feelings are enough to suck you down, and tear you under. There is nothing worse than not being supported. It is a wound that has affected my whole life, in positive and negative ways.

I no longer indulge in those old self sabotaging behaviors like I use to. I think more positive, I’ve shifted many beliefs, and I’ve learned to restore my connection to me. I’ve studied, I’m sought our help, I’ve gone to ‘healers’ of all kinds, wandered alone, and I’ve done my own exploration in learning how to really truly love me.

It’s not an easy path. You have to walk it alone. In the solitude you learn so much about yourself, about others, and about the world. Somewhere in those lonely feelings, you learn to grow stronger and also realize the bigger meaning of life.

Long ago I thought we were born to grow up, work, get married, and have kids. Although that sounds easy, that system does not grant you total fulfillment. Actually, thinking you need to get all that usually keeps you from getting what you really desire.

I use to wonder why I grew up in such poor conditions, and why I was not able to have a family that really loved me and supported me. As a kid I had these big dreams and high hopes, and crazy passion for all sorts of things. Trauma can damage and the outside world can influence you and tell you that you’re unworthy, unlikable, unacceptable, and unable to be yourself.

It stung me hard the day my parents separated, and my Dad left. Growing up alone, as a child, is probably the scariest thing you will ever experience. You’re taught all these morals and virtues in school about family love and loving your family. But what about when you family does not love you?

I’ll tell you in my experience, it makes you suffer. It makes you grow wounds, torment, and all sorts of limiting beliefs that cause you to catastrophes and develop in unhealthy ways. Unloved. That scar can burn you forever unless you choose to grow out of it.

That pain wrangled me as a kid. Back then, I was not allowed to voice my opinions, speak  up, and my emotional nature, was frowned upon. They say big girls don’t cry. I believe the best girls do cry. Because human empathy is the greatest gift, and something our world has lost touch with in many ways. It makes me sick to see how people treat each other, and how their own minds dictate them and cause them to behave in bad ways. The pain inflicted on me when I was young, and growing up, casted many scars.

People have called me insecure, hit me down for speaking up, and don’t like me because I tell people when they hurt me. Isn’t ironic though? We all want to feel loved, and accepted, and live in the world, yet most of us are unable to be happy with each other and actually treat each other well. Now I think it’s funny, in a sick kind of way, how humanity has developed.

Long ago I use to shield the pain, and pretend it wasn’t there.

That got me know where, and limited me in many ways. I started to grow, face my fears, and was determined to get over the pain and break free. In the process, I grew tremendously. Thought there are those rocky highs and lows, and moments when the past does resurface. I know now what it is. I confront it, I sit with it, and I have learned, every day, to continue to love me.

I was born on the planet to make a difference. I was not born to suffer. I certainly was not put here to be put down my others, or to allow others to knock me down. Most sensitive people develop all kinds of walls and blocks and ideas because others are more ruthless, angry, and mean. It’s true being sensitive, loving, kind, and empathetic, is not easy in this world.

Everyday I’m learning.

Despite what that those other people are doing, you have to love them anyway, from a distance, because they know no better. They may cause you pain, try not to take it personally. The pain is temporary, if you let yourself move through it. Holding onto the fears, or continuing to let people hurt you won’t put you in a better place.

Truthfully, you can change yourself, change your mind, and develop. You can’t change others. Those people that truly love you, and accept you, and want you in their lives, will always comes around. I believe the best people will support you for being you… with the pain, in the pain, and in the hot messy process of who you are becoming.

Keep those people around. They are the ones you want. The others don’t matter. Even if you feel lonely sometimes, know you are never alone. Those feelings are simply emotions, helping you changing, helping you move forward, and showing you what can be transformed so you can live better.

The best gift, and the best journey, anyone can be brave enough to take, is learning to love yourself. Not just treating yourself well, but really richly knowing who you are, and being fearless in becoming the best version of you. Loving you has nothing to do with your past, or partner. It has everything to do with who you are, how you show up, treat others, talk to people, and how willing you can love with an open heart.

The truest love of all is within. No one can make that, be that, or create that.

Only you can step into loving you, and let go of whatever is keeping you from that happy loving, peaceful, and great place.

Love Yourself. Know Yourself. Be Yourself.

Living Your Truth.

Yoga teaches us that the truth of who we are is within us. It is at our core, our essence, and the pure awareness that allows us to really be ourselves and live as ourselves. Truth, and that connection with your soul, is something so many don’t know. Because we are not taught to live in our truth, and often when we do, others don’t like it.

At our core we are all kind human beings. Society and how we are raised changes us. It lodged into our mind and beliefs crazy stories about who life needs to be, who we need to be, and how we need to show up. Often in that controlled form of growth, we loose sight of who we really came here to be. Or worse, we get caught up in what we are told, and live in fear of allowing ourselves to truly express our divine nature of who we really are.

Kaliarmsup.jpg

The irony is that if we all could learn to sustain ourselves and live open minded and accepting of others and ourselves, then we could break free of a lot of struggle and suffering. Yoga tells us that we should be allowed to live in a world where we can nobly express our truths and communicate with other people. Hopefully, that is coming from a place on honesty, integrity, and no fear in asking questions or resolving problems.

Our ego and mind and past conditioning will always step in and tell us what is best. That same ego will protect us from whatever may hurt us. The voice may enable you to make the right decisions, because a bigger subject, like a boss or job, is at risk. It is sad the way our society has evolved, and that it is okay to hide the truth or change the truth, if means protecting yourself.

Living your truth is really quite simple. It amazes me that more people are afraid to get in alignment and show up in the yoga way, of living honestly, and truly accepting of everyone and everything. There is abundance in this world, and no need to scram or lie to try to get more. If we all could show up and live truthfully we could eliminate a lot of dogma our current culture is currently hypnotized under. The yoga way tells us that everyone was born to be great, and it is in finding that power that allows us to express our inner light and use it in the world to shine. Yoga, or unity consciousness, allows us to be free, as we are, and to use our talents and gifts in remarkable ways. When you live that truth, that we are all connected and all working for the same goal, then you also know there is no reason to lie, play victim, or reprimand others for being themselves. It is living in the fear, or doing actions that promote fear, that hold you back greatly.

Let truth be your guide. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Ask those questions. Talk to those people. Don’t let your own moral values and choices block you and keep you living in a prison of control. Everyone will judge you in your advancement. People may not like you for what you say and choose to do. However, those people really envy you and secretly admire your fearlessness to step into your truth and not be held back in fear. In their heart, they probably know you are taking right action. Because when you honor yourself and live your truth, there can be no wrong way. Only silly people who don’t yet understand and are afraid to live in that light.

truth

(synchronistically after I wrote these words, and posted, this message appeared on my tea. 🙂 Believe in magic and no mistakes!)

Your truth is your connection to your soul. It is who you are. It represents your values, morals, beliefs, and how you treat others. It goes beyond character. To be honest, for us all, the truth within us, is a kind open hearted individual. Though we forgot this, and choose to believe otherwise. The Yoga is how we learn to get back to our happy whole state and to release the barriers and beliefs that have robbed us and helped us live with ignorance. In the unyoking, you are challenged, and asked to step forth into someone greater. The yoga is the union of your truth, and the development of your soul.

When you know that, and who you are, and can show up with that essence, then you know you are living. There is no way but to love. Love yourself first, then love others, and acknowledge how you can shine love on the world, and teach others how. Truth is a simple concept. We make it complex. We fail to communicate and conspire to stay stuck in our old bad habits, and blocked beliefs.

The truth sets us free. Always. The truth will hold you back as long as your conform in that other ego way. Yoga helps us align to see that truth, and not be fearful, and live more openly with each other. In finding your truth, you find your way, and can create a better world, with more joy, more love, and so much more bliss!

 

On Happiness, dreams, & reality.

Happiness.

What is it? I remember as a kid the dreams I use to dream, and the constant thoughts and beliefs of me one day being a Hollywood super star. Yeah, I had a lot of those crazy thoughts. The world and possibilities, would run wild in my head, but also seemed so real that I really knew one day it would happen, and somehow my dreams would come true.

My life sucked as kid. I’m not kidding. I was that no filter bad ass of a child that liked to be blunt about everything. My poor single Mom who raised me. She could not handle my honestness and real raw mouth that spoke whatever I felt and saw. Ha. Yeah, my own personality got me into a lot of trouble in my younger years. But the truth is all I wanted to do as a child was have fun, be free, and be happy. That was something that was never given or granted to me. That is something I still seek, and have spent years wanting.

My dreams of happily ever after and all my Princess fairy tale fantasies died fast. No really, they did. As if I got hit my a book and knocked out, unable to wake up and get back to the reality I once held, I became stuck, depressed, unhappy, and very insecure and incomplete. I’m not afraid to say, that growing up in  world that doesn’t allow you to be you, is awful. Not being able to have privileges, like other kids have, make you seem like you are some kind of outcast and tormented child that will never get ahead. The truth no one likes to talk about is that your younger years really shape you. If you don’t have money or parents willing to volunteer, buy you nice things, or drive you to after school activities, well you really do suffer. And so I did. In many many ways.

Kali Bliss
Kali Bliss – Be Happy

My whole life I’ve yearned for happiness. I’m not joking. I’ve dreamed of the day I’d be free of the misery, the pain, and the stupid people, and parents, ruining my life. I know, awful attitude, but seriously, people can wreck you and destroy you. I’m not sure why we live with such filtered minds, and pretend like other people have no influence on us. Every single person we meet makes an impact.

 

So back to happiness, and my dreams… I always wondered why I had to live a sheltered life. I mean why wasn’t I able to explore my dreams, passions, and actively get involved in what I love? I struggled in school, high school, and more. I always tried to find my place. I couldn’t. There were no art outlets or creative groups I could genuinely be myself in. My biggest passion, photography, and being in Yearbook, were scared bad when my best friend took my dream position, after I got her on our crew. Ouch. It’s shit like that about human nature I don’t understand. Have we all lost our morals, and forgotten how to treat each other? I’m not going to lie, that one event forever tainted me and forever scared me. You can’t move on or forgive things like that easily. I don’t understand why other people enjoy ruining other peoples dreams. Just to boost my own ego, I’m going to add, the yearbook photos that year totally were not up to par.

Back to happiness and happily ever after. If we are all destined to find it, live with it, and cultivate it, why as humans do we enjoy, and usually ignorantly participate, in smashing it for others? I not get it. Why can’t we be noble, honest, and actually love each other and help each other succeed? This questions continues to baffle me and haunt me.

So later in life, I began to find my Zen by teaching Yoga. I did everything and anything for that community. Yet somehow, I was never allowed to have a prime time class, and my wage was always subjective and criticized because I did not have enough people in my class. Yet, my coworkers, some other teachers, were allowed to dishonestly check extra people in and scold students (yes in a Yoga room), and actually get more benefits. How does that make sense?

So now, with my life lessons, suffering, teachings, and wisdom, I can’t help but ask, what is the case of happiness and why do we all enjoy ruining it for others? To me, happiness is living in a peaceful environment, and having people that care for you and support you. It’s in following your heart, and going after your dreams, that you begin to forge a new understanding in the meaning of life. Yet, in doing that, someone always gets in the way. It’s almost like people don’t want others to succeed because they care more about themselves, their life, and don’t give a flying fuck about others, or what happens to them. What is up with that? How has our society gotten so stinted in that ignorant mindset and way? I really, really, don’t get it.

We all have dreams. We all want to be happy. We all want a good life. It’s funny because we all have screens, limited ideas, and see in certain ways. Somehow we all want to succeed so bad, and gain power in whatever way that is, that we often forget the people we are hurting. I have confronted people on their actions. You know, that friend who went behind my back and applied for the only position I wanted throughout my whole High school career. I never got an apology or an answer, to this day. I confronted my yoga boss who refused to give me a chance at a good yoga time slot, after I proved I could do it (on every business level). I confronted the yoga teacher who lied and continues to market herself was a master person, even though she isn’t even real or honest with anyone. What I’ve learned is people don’t care. They don’t care if you suffer with their actions or if they squander your happiness with what they choose. Usually, they actually get gratification with their own pride when you loose, and they win.

Personally, I believe in happiness and a good life. I believe when we all can work together to support that, we will all win. Life is abundant. People matter. It is not who you become or the title you have, or the numbers in you room, or paycheck. It is your own ability to live morally and sustain happiness in all that you do. Wrecking people, their dreams, their desires, and failing to help them or understand them, can cause a lot of suffering. We all hide behind whats real because often admitting to the way people behave is scary.

Happiness can only be achieved when we are all allowed to follow our hearts, and be real human – beings, that make this universe a good place to live. I’ll tell you from experience, people and their choices and actions, DO affect and sabotage others. Dreams, real dreams, are hard to go after. It’s scary to live completely free. Even though, I’ve had my many failures, catastrophes, heart breaks, and uncivilized people who have proven they are not worthy of my friendship or attention, I still forgive them for their sinful deeds. What I’ve learned most about happiness, and pursuing your dreams, is that at the end of the day, they don’t matter. If they did matter, they would show up different. But, it’s their choice, not mine, or anyone else’s.

Prenting to be someone you’re not will et you nowhere. That roadblock and stuck feeling will live you. One day you’ll look back and realize the heart you broke, the people you hurt, and the happiness that was there, if only you would have seen a different way. See our choices make an impact. Though I can’t change my childhood, people, or the crazy things I continue to experience in my life, I can continue to chase my dreams. Happiness is not held in what appears to be real.

Real happiness, for me, has come from letting go off all those phonies that don’t deserve to be in my life. It’s come from exploring, getting out of that bad box of other peoples influence, and really finding my own joy. After years of suffering, I can tell you, the only way to be happy, is to find it in yourself. When you find it, and you know true joy, and what its like to be happy and blissful for no reason at all, then you will know what living is. And those people that once mattered, will disappear.

All you need to be happy is you. When you are a dreamer, chasing your heart’s desire, going after what feed you, and being relentless in whoever steps in your way…. then… maybe… you start to understand liberation. Happiness is not dollars, people, friends, or whatever you’re doing. Happiness is only found within you. The more you cultivate that, and believe that… the more it shows up, if you’re willing.

One day, you’re destined to find true happiness. The question is if you’re willing to find it, understand it, and actually live with it…. not just for You, but for everyone around.

Happiness is a way of living, being, and sharing with one another.

 

 

 

 

Political Madness in America

“Perhaps this election will teach all people how to be more respectful, kind, and loving toward themselves and all people.”

Calm down America. Really. This political race is driving us all nuts. Isn’t it interesting that a nation that wants to be unified is actually divided more than ever now. I find it hilarious that the two noteworthy opponents are both battling with what the collective unconscious has in America. I know, people don’t like to look at things that way, but it’s true. We don’t like to shine a light on ourselves and admit we have problems, or admit to how we show up in the world. Yet, this political race is clearly showing us the flaws of America (and the world) and how we unconsciously do behave.

There is ‘ego’ maniac Trump with a temper and with many moments of hysterical outrage and some critical condoning comments. Then there is Hilary, who has lied under oath, allowed her husband to cheat on her many times, and says she can accomplish great things with no real agenda as to how to make that work. They are both all talk, forming speeches based on saying what you think you want to hear, and as a way to provoke you to want to vote for them. Will either actually make positive changes we need in society? I doubt it. Both have policy plans in place and talk a lot about change, but to me, all plans sound faulty and unreal. There are many great things that can be said at any debate and in any media article. However, what we need to look at in this election is who can actually make a change, and not just market themselves for a popular vote. I predict with whoever ‘wins’ we are all in trouble regardless.

America has a huge debt. We are still in war. We are still convinced war is the answer and the way. Most Americans are obsess, depressed, and drug addictions are higher than ever now with pain pills and prescription meds. Healthcare is not available to everyone. In most cases, it is better to end up single, with a child, or as a recovering addict, and get government assistance, than it is to live morally well. I mean, how ridiculous is that?

To be fair, I will say I don’t like either candidate. I know, one of them is going to win. That statement alone causes a lot of judgment. If you want my opinion, I think whoever is elected will have a terribly hard time in office. If America wants change is has to come from we the people and someone who is going to represent us like no one else has done before. No one likes Trump because he is belligerent and rude. Many don’t like Hilary because she is dishonest and because her background in politics is not that clean. Do people realize what happened when The Clintons were in office? Yet everyone is forced to pick one because they are our only options.

We can all agree to disagree. I think most everyone knows both candidates are not worthy of being “The President of the United States.” That’s a big title! Yet somehow our political race has turned into a big joke. The joke is on all of us. They all have attributes of our general population and are showing us big in our face how we show up in the world.

Hilary is the ego alpha female. She’s the girl who will do whatever it takes to get ahead and gain her power. I’m sure you have coworkers like that. You know, the ones that cheat the system, lie, or even use you for their own glory. I know many personally. She represents the out of balance female who has not learned to live in integrity and fully respect all human creatures. Although having a woman in the white house would be great, she is not the best role model for girls and future generations. I mean, letting your husband cheat on you, and staying with him for your own status, come on! To me, feminism represents a lot more than that. Plus, she lies. (Well, they both do, it’s ironic that our Nation even allows them both to run and get away with the lies!)

Trump represents the ego boosting male power. You know, those guys that think they can get away with anything… cheating on girls, stealing money, beating people down to get ahead, putting down women, etc. He is showing us what money does to our nation and how unmoral we ALL live because of our love affair with money (and power and greed). Let’s be real, how many times have you made a decision in order to get more money, and have probably sacrificed someone else in doing it. He is showing us our human need for emotional wellbeing and balance. Yes, Trump needs some Yoga. But so does the rest of the America’s population. Ha! Most of the population is running around stressed out, worried, and angry. There is Trump showing us all loud and clear. He’s not an ideal candidate and certainly has no nice virtues toward women. We cannot allow power to be so distorted in the world.

Rather than racing for power, and political affairs, why not have the conversation on how to make efficient changes that will benefit the people, the world, and the crazy state of mind we all live in?

I can hope that this election of 2016 is teaching us all how to be more respectful and kind to human beings. Perhaps it will inspire us to raise out of our ‘ego’ power driven minds and learn to live with more hearts. Maybe then in 2020 we can let a leader that is really worthy of the job, and represents true American values. Until we have integrity, a leader who can represent our nation, and speak truth to the people and for the people, then we are still flawed. Our world will only get worse until it gets better. But it takes us ALL to be accountable and show up in better ways.

This elections proves the power of money. Both candidates argue over reforms and what to do with the budget, and more. What we need to focus on are the PEOPLE, and making our society more enlightened in how we all behave. I won’t ramble here about my passion for human growth and wellness, but I will say it is greatly needed in our nation. We cannot live stuck in fear, we must teach love and help future generation live more meaningful lives. As a millennial, I can say the way this world is going greatly worries me. The new generation does not care about anything candidates are talking about. We care about freedom, true liberty, and actually be able to live in America, as the nation it was promised to be. Beyond money, or some political fraud, it means living well, being happy, and being able to be free in America. We want rights like healthcare. We want a planet that is sustainable, beautiful, and everlasting for ourselves, and future generations.

May peace be with us all in this election. Whoever gets to take the stage in 2016, I wish them the best. This Presidential role will not be easy these next 4 years. Haha.

 

 

 

 

Art, Family, & Living.

I’m currently traveling. I’m lost in my own mind, on new streets, in a world I do not know. Yet oddly. everything seems familiar. It’s peculiar. I mean, wandering alone. Where to do, what to see, how to spend my day… and it’s all up to me to decide. So liberating!

IMG_5168.JPGThe more I roam and wander and the more I see, the more I wonder why America is not so rich with art and artifacts. I mean, I know we don’t have all the history of some other countries or of Europe, but geez, we could at least hop on the bandwagon of nice architecture. Don’t you think? I do.

Europeans understand what it is to live. They are laid back, walk slow, and non of them seem to have the stress most Americans live with. The biggest thing I’ve notice is how sincere Europeans are with their families. It seems like they all genuinely care. They walk around holding hands, and enjoying one another. It’s a different kind of love than in America. Everyone seems happy, grateful, and no worried about making a buck or getting to work or anything else. They are content with what they have.

Why have we created modern day culture to not have art?

Really. It is through museums, movies, music, and other forms of media entertainment we create masterpieces. Think about the great creators of the world. They were brilliant. Here I am now going to museums and seeing their works of art and acclaimed masterpieces. Its amazing! Though I don’t necessarily enjoy them all, I will say they are remarkable in their own way. It ponders me as to why our America society has forgotten about the value of art, and why we don’t allow more art in our world?

We have forgotten about the good life, the reason life is meaningful.

So many Americans have become lost. No joke. We fall victim to the corrupt man and how we are taught to believe we need to go to school, work, get educated, and work the rest of our lives for retirement. Ewww. No offense, but kill me now. I use to live in that world. I will tell you I feared growing up because the idea of sitting boxed in with no freedom seemed totally depressing. Now I understand why.

Art enriches life. It gives us beauty, helps us see through a new lens, and alters our perceptions, and opens our mind. It is with art we see truth, a clearer vision, a better world, and a more meaningful picture. Art enhances. It teaches us and it brightens our human limited idea and helps us create fantasy, imagination, and new pictures. So why has our culture made art so unappealing? Don’t we want more beauty in the world, more life, and happiness?

I believe we owe it to our children and future generations, to help make art part of the mass media educational system. We cannot raise logic and limited minds. We need to help people see the world, understand the world, and create the world. We must give them an outlet to express, draw, paint, go wild, and use their own creative source in magnificent ways.

We can all agree brilliant people are the ones who have created and done what no one else has. So why not allow kids to be themselves and have opportunities that can expand their own creative nature? I wonder.

While traveling I’ve gotten to see the world, muse, and people watch. It’s all quite pleasurable and enchanting. It also pains me to see how happy the culture is here in Europe, and other places I’ve been. They have something America does not. Even though over here they go out to eat, and they drink, they do so for different reasons. They are not looking to go wild, prey on the opposite sex, escape, or get a good buzz because they are bored and have no other good thing to do with their day. People here participate in life. They love their families. They sit down and have nice meals. They talk. They laugh. They get a long. From a tourist perspective, them seem to love the people they are with and get a long quite well. Imagine that?

The air is different, and the cities have something I have not found yet in America. Call me crazy, maybe I am. There seems to be a perfect air of peace, tranquility and natural happy vibe. I don’t believe it’s genetic. I believe it’s the system they have in place. Europeans know how to make life good. They understand the finer and more important things. They make balance by living well, enjoying, and soaking up the riches through art and more in the modern everyday life.

Art. It changes the world, and helps humans become more humane.