Accepting Reality & People as they are.

I don’t know what’s harder… accepting reality, or pretending life is great.


Good grief. If only life was simple, easy, and welcoming.

Though I am an optimist, and I do believe in positive thinking, some days you just need to shout and say out loud FUCK, and comment on life, and what’s going on.

This real world can hurt, be confusing, unclear, and down right depressing.

I recently have had to let go of some very close people. It was not my conscious choice. I love people too much, and I deeply admire people for who they are. I value people who help me, touch my heart, and relationships that make me, shift me, and teach me.

I know, I love too deeply.

But the pain is unreal when you feel rejected, loose those you think are close to you, and disconnect from those that maybe once cared.

For me, it breaks me, beyond words, when I think I knew who matters, and realize and find out, I actually mean nothing to them.

I guess empathy is a gift and curse. I suppose we all can be cruel, unkind, and inauthentic with people.

Maybe this whole world is hocus pocus and some silly game we’re all pretending in. I mean, I wonder constantly if anyone is real anymore, and if we took away jobs, titles, and money, who would be left to care, and how would people treat people?




Living in Truth, seeing Reality for what it’s Become

“The Truth is, the truth hurts, so we lie”

This classic statement, made in my favorite TV show in college, Greys Anatomy, says it all. At first I did not quite understand it. Why are people so afraid to lie? I didn’t get it. Yet my good friend in college frequently referenced it.  I never understood why people lied, or why it is so challenging to tell the truth. Then I graduated college, and got into the real world, and discovered why the truth hurts, and how our society is currently operating.

I believe society and our world is actually in a good place. I mean, look at the change we have endured, the new leaders rising up, the social commotion happening, and people’s individual drive in creating change in our culture and society. I see it as positive.

Yet it is ironic that we all want a better world, and so many are still unwilling to help us get there. The truth hurts because it is easier to lie, and ignore the reality often. So many escape with drugs, masks pain, and refuse to admit their weaknesses. Some cause suffering to others because they can’t find it in their heart to hold compassion or empathy. Its a muggle silly world, and an interesting reality to observe. Ignorance is killing us all little by little. More and more people rise against the outer world, and refuse to change themselves, or their inner world.

When you sit back and watch it all, it can be quite confusing. All these people doing whatever it takes to make a dollar. So many wearing masks, and overruling their inherent loving nature, so they can get the selfie or social like. People making excuses, like it’s okay because the Business says so, or because they are boss. Then there are others who hide, who never admit they do wrong, and who can’t find peace inside themselves to apologize or admit they have an issue. Yeah, I know it’s scary waking up to the fact that we are all responsible for ourselves, our lives, and the current conditions of the world.

Sometimes it’s easier to hide, go into my own cave, live in my imagination, and try to not see or feel what this world is amounting too. The truth does hurt, especially when you feel, and know and see the constant greed, anger, fights, battles, and inhumane behavior that is currently overtaking the world. Geez, I wish we would all be willing to become kinder, more honest, loving, and warm.

Yes, I can wear a happy face, and think good thoughts, and own my reality. But that does not help the real world, or the harm that continues to be inflicted on others. I cringe every day I see people yelling at each other, especially at kids. It makes me sad to know our Planet is currently dying, and nature is being over taken by man. I get upset when people think climate change is bullshit, or when others trash our oceans, and think it’s okay.

The ignorance hurts to see and know. The reality we are creating, is changing. Yet, we cannot hide or pretend the dark aspects of human nature still don’t exist. Seeing the truth, hurts, because then you also see how so many are suffering, and careless. Perhaps shining a light on the truth, and educating others how dramatically they affect the world, could help resolve some issues.

I don’t know what hurts more. Knowing the truth about society, or not being able to currently do anything about it. I can’t stand watching what a mess we are creating. I know in my heart there is purpose in it all. We cannot all be maniacs and continue to ignore the bigger problems. I know no one likes looking at themselves. Everyone wants to believe they are right.

Ignoring the issues won’t resolve pain of the past, or help our people become better. Only in knowing the truth, can you recognize and realize the potential you have, and great power to turn yourself around, and help the world. Though it’s hard to face, and witness those shadow aspects of self, it’s necessary to rise above the current reality many live in.

We will remain victims unless we confront ourselves, the truth, and help the world step out of lies, and live with more real kindred love. The truth is only love is real. It is up to us to realize it, and do what we need to live in that state, and overcome whatever lies we were told that differ.


Feeling Unloved.

Everyday I wonder if the pain will ever go away. It’s gotten better, but the deep scar that was buried long ago still creates a burning flame in my belly. That emptiness continues to come around and jar at me and force me into my own manic depression at times.

Abandonment. Unloved. Feeling Alone.IMG_0814

Shit those feelings are enough to suck you down, and tear you under. There is nothing worse than not being supported. It is a wound that has affected my whole life, in positive and negative ways.

I no longer indulge in those old self sabotaging behaviors like I use to. I think more positive, I’ve shifted many beliefs, and I’ve learned to restore my connection to me. I’ve studied, I’m sought our help, I’ve gone to ‘healers’ of all kinds, wandered alone, and I’ve done my own exploration in learning how to really truly love me.

It’s not an easy path. You have to walk it alone. In the solitude you learn so much about yourself, about others, and about the world. Somewhere in those lonely feelings, you learn to grow stronger and also realize the bigger meaning of life.

Long ago I thought we were born to grow up, work, get married, and have kids. Although that sounds easy, that system does not grant you total fulfillment. Actually, thinking you need to get all that usually keeps you from getting what you really desire.

I use to wonder why I grew up in such poor conditions, and why I was not able to have a family that really loved me and supported me. As a kid I had these big dreams and high hopes, and crazy passion for all sorts of things. Trauma can damage and the outside world can influence you and tell you that you’re unworthy, unlikable, unacceptable, and unable to be yourself.

It stung me hard the day my parents separated, and my Dad left. Growing up alone, as a child, is probably the scariest thing you will ever experience. You’re taught all these morals and virtues in school about family love and loving your family. But what about when you family does not love you?

I’ll tell you in my experience, it makes you suffer. It makes you grow wounds, torment, and all sorts of limiting beliefs that cause you to catastrophes and develop in unhealthy ways. Unloved. That scar can burn you forever unless you choose to grow out of it.

That pain wrangled me as a kid. Back then, I was not allowed to voice my opinions, speak  up, and my emotional nature, was frowned upon. They say big girls don’t cry. I believe the best girls do cry. Because human empathy is the greatest gift, and something our world has lost touch with in many ways. It makes me sick to see how people treat each other, and how their own minds dictate them and cause them to behave in bad ways. The pain inflicted on me when I was young, and growing up, casted many scars.

People have called me insecure, hit me down for speaking up, and don’t like me because I tell people when they hurt me. Isn’t ironic though? We all want to feel loved, and accepted, and live in the world, yet most of us are unable to be happy with each other and actually treat each other well. Now I think it’s funny, in a sick kind of way, how humanity has developed.

Long ago I use to shield the pain, and pretend it wasn’t there.

That got me know where, and limited me in many ways. I started to grow, face my fears, and was determined to get over the pain and break free. In the process, I grew tremendously. Thought there are those rocky highs and lows, and moments when the past does resurface. I know now what it is. I confront it, I sit with it, and I have learned, every day, to continue to love me.

I was born on the planet to make a difference. I was not born to suffer. I certainly was not put here to be put down my others, or to allow others to knock me down. Most sensitive people develop all kinds of walls and blocks and ideas because others are more ruthless, angry, and mean. It’s true being sensitive, loving, kind, and empathetic, is not easy in this world.

Everyday I’m learning.

Despite what that those other people are doing, you have to love them anyway, from a distance, because they know no better. They may cause you pain, try not to take it personally. The pain is temporary, if you let yourself move through it. Holding onto the fears, or continuing to let people hurt you won’t put you in a better place.

Truthfully, you can change yourself, change your mind, and develop. You can’t change others. Those people that truly love you, and accept you, and want you in their lives, will always comes around. I believe the best people will support you for being you… with the pain, in the pain, and in the hot messy process of who you are becoming.

Keep those people around. They are the ones you want. The others don’t matter. Even if you feel lonely sometimes, know you are never alone. Those feelings are simply emotions, helping you changing, helping you move forward, and showing you what can be transformed so you can live better.

The best gift, and the best journey, anyone can be brave enough to take, is learning to love yourself. Not just treating yourself well, but really richly knowing who you are, and being fearless in becoming the best version of you. Loving you has nothing to do with your past, or partner. It has everything to do with who you are, how you show up, treat others, talk to people, and how willing you can love with an open heart.

The truest love of all is within. No one can make that, be that, or create that.

Only you can step into loving you, and let go of whatever is keeping you from that happy loving, peaceful, and great place.

Love Yourself. Know Yourself. Be Yourself.

A Perspective on Human Reality

The current world baffles me and intrigues me.

How did we get so messed up? I mean, in America, where we are suppose to be thriving and  leading the world to greater good, we can’t even seem to set the example of a more peaceful people orientated nation.

What went wrong? 

I am a millenial. Outspoken. Indpendent. A big thinker, and a gal who doesn’t understand the way current civilization operates. Yeah, my big mouth, I know. I speak the truth and I’m not afraid to show or say what happens in our crazy world, and how people behave. I shine the light on ugly issues and it scars people sometimes. I don’t know why. Our world is in a dark time, and if we continue to ignore life problems, they will continue to evolve.

Secretly, I think it’s funny what we’ve all become and the horrific state humankind has evolved to. Of course, there are always exceptions, and people who step outside the box of ‘normal’ and live in positive ways that actually align with peace, love, and all those virtues that got lost long ago. 

Back to this reality, what happened? How is it that we care more about making a buck and get so greedy within our power, that we forget to live from our heart? It’s so interesting to watch what people will do for fame, money, and to get ahead in the world. I wonder if people realize how much they sabotage each other, and even themselves in the process of trying to look good. 

Why can’t we be kind to each other, honest, and live in a peaceful loving manner?

The world won’t get better until we all begin to change. Stop blaming, quit with cruel offensive words, and stop chasing what doesn’t serve you. Be kind. Let others be themselves, without your nasty judgments and authority over whats best for them.

Honestly, the moment your materials get taken away, and your life takes a hit, you have to wake up one day and realize that all that power, those material possessions, praetorships, and that lifestyle you think you need, ultimately is not what will bring you joy, or ultimate satisfaction.

Yeah, even those relationships may not last, and it may leave you and force you to revaluate yourself, and what really matters in this lifetime.

At some point, we all get hit hard with the bigger truths of reality and we all must find our way out of our ego, and the silly ways society has corrupted and taught us, and step into a more authentic and loving place within.

Our world needs help. I mean, major attitude upgrades, educational reform, and healthcare for the people. Do we want children to grow up in a world as it currently is? I can go on… Our planet is in trouble if we think we can continue on this ride wishing, hoping, accusing, and thinking it will get better. I do believe it will get worse, until we make adjustments. 

I know money can buy a lot of things and it can make you look like a million bucks. People may fall under the spell and believe you really are as you pretend to be. Truthfully, under the masks, the social media, the photos, and all that stuff that covers up who you really are, is still a heart that may be lost, locked, and seeking something more meaningful. Until you are authentic in yourself, those lies and other things will keep you stuck in your box, in your own mind, and in your own perception. 

You don’t find your happiness fitting into that other world, or trying to be someone you are not. Life does not get better until you take a chance to improve yourself, how you show up, and how you live in the world. 

I believe we secretly all want peace. I know we all want love. Somewhere within us we all probably dream of finding that person, having that life, and living in riches, without worry and with prosperity. I don’t know why we fight all the time to try to get it. I don’t know why so many enjoy hurting others to get ahead. I’m quite curious how this world got to be the way it is.

Personally, I wish more people, businesses, corporations, and society, would get a mental check, and take some time to understand how to find peace within, and how to treat others well.

If we know everyone wants the same thing, and that we are all seeking love, comfort, safety, security, peace, happiness, and some kind of joy, why can’t we ALL work together to create it?



A New Year to Resolve in New Ways

Happy 2017! There is something about the fresh new year that stimulates and motivates and gets people to step into new beginnings.


After the holidays and end of the year chaos, it is a fabulous time to take a time out and reflect, rejuvenate, and rest in quiet contemplation of what needs to change this year.

I’ve been speculating, watching, and musing over why we use the first of the year as our excuses to suddenly make intentions and goals. Why can’t we use every day and every moment to pursue what is meaningful to us, and accomplish our own desires?

No matter how badly you want something or think you can achieve a certain outcome, the reality is, you have no control. Think about how much time we waste trying… Trying to loose weight, trying to eat less, trying to budget, trying to force life and ourselves in a certain direction. It is SO consuming! Believe me, I use to be super type A and driven by organization, control, and knowing what would happen next.

Learning to be, and allow was a wonderful tough lesson. Now it’s become a lifestyle.

Life has actually gotten easier because I know now I don’t have to struggle, worry, or force myself into things that don’t feel good to be. I now strive for joy, play, and use intentions to make every day amazing and magical.

You know, some days that more challenging than others, but it all leads to the same goal. That is, to enjoy every day, and to enjoy every moment, and to make today the best day ever, because we don’t know what tomorrow will be. 

Some call this living present. I call it living Bliss. It is setting intentions that create more play, love, and joy. It is living without expectations to how it will be, or what happens. It is resolving to stop doing what brings you down, and motivating yourself to spark transformation by living a different way.

Sounds easy? It takes practice. 

When you can mindfully create your intentions without the need to have, get, be, do, you can shift all aspects of your life. In living present, and noticing your busyness, your manic mind fooling you, the people you neglect, and the little things you do that may not be do helpful, you can then take steps to reform. To me, that is intentional living at it’s finest.

It’s not a matter of trying to control your life. The more you attempt to know everything and figure out how things will be, the more you suffer. It’s like starting a diet and holding expectations that you will loose 10 pounds. What happens? You do it and you miss seeing how much it’s changed you. You probably don’t loose your goal weight because you were too busy trying, and forcing an outcome. 

Reset yourself right now! Take a pause to identify what really matters to you and your life. How can you today start to take steps to improve your life? What can you do to get closer to whatever your heart desires? 

Can you commit to living everyday in alignment with those goals and bigger vision? In taking responsibility for yourself, and attempting to change your ways, you can promote a brighter future. Who knows, that goal you set, or that inner motivation may drive you easier than you ever imagined to something great!

Forget about what you resolve to do in 2017. Make it about who you choose to become.

Create a balanced lifestyle that can help you step into your potential, live with motivation, and make every day great. It is in feeling good, and enjoying life, amazing opportunities happen. Plus, when you’re less stressed and busy, your body and mind naturally thrive!


Living Your Truth.

Yoga teaches us that the truth of who we are is within us. It is at our core, our essence, and the pure awareness that allows us to really be ourselves and live as ourselves. Truth, and that connection with your soul, is something so many don’t know. Because we are not taught to live in our truth, and often when we do, others don’t like it.

At our core we are all kind human beings. Society and how we are raised changes us. It lodged into our mind and beliefs crazy stories about who life needs to be, who we need to be, and how we need to show up. Often in that controlled form of growth, we loose sight of who we really came here to be. Or worse, we get caught up in what we are told, and live in fear of allowing ourselves to truly express our divine nature of who we really are.


The irony is that if we all could learn to sustain ourselves and live open minded and accepting of others and ourselves, then we could break free of a lot of struggle and suffering. Yoga tells us that we should be allowed to live in a world where we can nobly express our truths and communicate with other people. Hopefully, that is coming from a place on honesty, integrity, and no fear in asking questions or resolving problems.

Our ego and mind and past conditioning will always step in and tell us what is best. That same ego will protect us from whatever may hurt us. The voice may enable you to make the right decisions, because a bigger subject, like a boss or job, is at risk. It is sad the way our society has evolved, and that it is okay to hide the truth or change the truth, if means protecting yourself.

Living your truth is really quite simple. It amazes me that more people are afraid to get in alignment and show up in the yoga way, of living honestly, and truly accepting of everyone and everything. There is abundance in this world, and no need to scram or lie to try to get more. If we all could show up and live truthfully we could eliminate a lot of dogma our current culture is currently hypnotized under. The yoga way tells us that everyone was born to be great, and it is in finding that power that allows us to express our inner light and use it in the world to shine. Yoga, or unity consciousness, allows us to be free, as we are, and to use our talents and gifts in remarkable ways. When you live that truth, that we are all connected and all working for the same goal, then you also know there is no reason to lie, play victim, or reprimand others for being themselves. It is living in the fear, or doing actions that promote fear, that hold you back greatly.

Let truth be your guide. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Ask those questions. Talk to those people. Don’t let your own moral values and choices block you and keep you living in a prison of control. Everyone will judge you in your advancement. People may not like you for what you say and choose to do. However, those people really envy you and secretly admire your fearlessness to step into your truth and not be held back in fear. In their heart, they probably know you are taking right action. Because when you honor yourself and live your truth, there can be no wrong way. Only silly people who don’t yet understand and are afraid to live in that light.


(synchronistically after I wrote these words, and posted, this message appeared on my tea. 🙂 Believe in magic and no mistakes!)

Your truth is your connection to your soul. It is who you are. It represents your values, morals, beliefs, and how you treat others. It goes beyond character. To be honest, for us all, the truth within us, is a kind open hearted individual. Though we forgot this, and choose to believe otherwise. The Yoga is how we learn to get back to our happy whole state and to release the barriers and beliefs that have robbed us and helped us live with ignorance. In the unyoking, you are challenged, and asked to step forth into someone greater. The yoga is the union of your truth, and the development of your soul.

When you know that, and who you are, and can show up with that essence, then you know you are living. There is no way but to love. Love yourself first, then love others, and acknowledge how you can shine love on the world, and teach others how. Truth is a simple concept. We make it complex. We fail to communicate and conspire to stay stuck in our old bad habits, and blocked beliefs.

The truth sets us free. Always. The truth will hold you back as long as your conform in that other ego way. Yoga helps us align to see that truth, and not be fearful, and live more openly with each other. In finding your truth, you find your way, and can create a better world, with more joy, more love, and so much more bliss!


2016 Election – Can we get over it now?

The 2016 election has been decided. Why are we all still protesting, commenting, and spreading negativity all over social media still? I mean, can we get over it, and move on already!?!

I know. People are scared. They are fearful. They think this guy named Donald Trump is going to ruin their lives. They believe what the media has written, and probably read tons of articles that their social feeds pulled up. I would assume, that many of them probably have not even researched the other candidates or taken time to understand all sides. I’ll say now, I can argue all candidates and have no strong side for this past election. I’m simply offering a new perspective NOW that it is OVER.

Regardless of who you wanted to win or voted for, the President has been decided. We can’t change that. Complaining, or talking about how awful he is or what you don’t like about him, won’t do anything. Even protesting is adding more war to our world, and less peace. Get over your misery.

You must understand the world we are currently living in. It is changing. Fast. This election is showing us the social reform needed, and how our society is shifting. We don’t want to be ruled, as we have been. We no longer want to fall under the trap of money, power, politics, and greed. Can’t we all begin to understand that as a collective, we want more from our government, and less lies. We want to know what is really true, and how we can survive in this world and actually live free and pursue happiness, like our country was based on.

Please stop telling the world how bad this elected president is. Please stop reading all those articles, and thinking you are right. You have no idea. The whole election is a marketing scheme, like everything else in America. Everyone is trying to sway you, tell you, and convince you. I applaud Donald Trump, for his efforts, his brilliance, and how he used business tactics to win the election. Yes, I do yoga, you can hate me now on my opinion. You still don’t know who I voted for though.

From a yogic perspective, what we can say about this new president is he is playing a VERY critical and important role in man kind. These next four years will be an opportunity for us all to reform, if we choose to. What we don’t like about this man, is also what is wrong with our world. We value sex, power, money, and so many people have fallen into the trap, thinking that matters most. Look at how society and people treat each other. I know many people in business, friendships, family, and more, who do exactly as Trump (and Hillary) do. Lies and breaking the system to get ahead can no longer be okay, yet for some reason we are allowed to get away with it. Even if in the yoga world, I’ve watched teachers do things – lash out at students, use bad language, ridicule employees, and say some really mean things in the yoga scene. I’ve even spoken up and asked questions, and why this behavior is tolerated. I’ve also been punished for speaking truth, and questioning the values, the system, and how we are all being played.

The time is not to integrate yoga, the values and lessons and what the practice stands for. It’s about upshifting and changing from how we have been. We cannot stay that way. NOW, we all must trust whatever is happening is happening for a ‘divine’ reason. It will all play out the way it needs to happen to help everyone become a better human being. We all must act nobly and live with true integrity if we want the world to get better.

So don’t we get it? This election has nothing to do with the person elected, now president. Trump is serving a BIG purpose for us all. He is showing us in our face big issues. You can’t hate him, he is helping us all, hopefully get better, and want to break the vicious cycle we have been in. We all know we can’t move forward from staying where we are. Going back, is never a good option. So why are so many hooked and attached to The Clintons? I don’t get it. Do we really think they played a good role for America, and are they true leaders that we want for our World? No offense, but I believe their time has pasted. From what I’ve researched, I don’t agree with most of what they have done. (We will leave all climate change and sustainable matters out of this conversation).

We are moving forward. Why can’t we celebrate? Celebrate that it’s time to change our world. REFORM. Our society and world needs help. Big time. These leaders won’t do much, unless the people start to empower society and take better stands, and make better choices. We can all sit in the lumber of you know, power, sex, greed, and bad behaviors. Or we can all rise about. We all know it is through changing ourself that we help others, and the world become better.

Personally, I’m excited to see this new change for America. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary for our evolution and to create a better world. I will say, it could get bad before it gets better. But, destruction and chaos are always needed for new beginnings and new structure. We must all get use to change. Stop living in the past. Quit thinking that anyone can rule us or fuck up this world. It is ALL of us that help or hurt this world. Through our actions, behaviors, and words, we can make a difference, and a positive or negative impact. Denying the way we currently live won’t help us break free.

I’m stoked to see America change. I’m excited for people to want to live better. I am greatly looking forward to how people change, and the new desire for change that every human will hopefully at some point want to make. I’m hopeful that our laws can be adjusted to better serve the people. Most of all, I pray daily that our health care system gets better, and that all people are truly granted the right to natural health care and affordable health services. I believe we need to redo the system and make a better foundation for how our world is now. We are no longer a new country building. We are built and need to learn how to sustain. I have many ideas. Most of all, we need integration, not separation. We all need to start doing what’s best for the planet, nature, and most of all, the future generations. We can live in the now, but we MUST stay focused on the future, and what we are currently creating and doing to make a better world.

The change has started. Want to be a part of it? Lets all make America great again, by surrendering to what has happened, what we have learned, and doing whatever it takes to make this world more peaceful and perfect. Together, we can do that, inspire that, and create the shift… and make the 2020 election a whole lot more hopeful!!

But hey, I’m Aquarian, I see alternative perspectives, I know history, and personally I find politics hilarious. I live with an open mind, and trust the natural course that happens. I know we are all guided in mysterious ways. Though we like to think we are in control, we are not. We can’t fight anymore. I believe in peace, open hearts, and kind friendly living! 😉